A really good friend's husband died today. I was teaching my class when our other friend called with the news. We knew it was going to happen (he was in hospice care), but we're still all completely shellshocked. The only thing I can think to do is clean the bathroom. Somehow, that may make me feel better, or productive, or at least like I'm doing something. There's nothing I can do or say to make this any better. But I'll be there for her. She lives in this city now and I'll try to spend much more time with her than I have. I just feel numb.

The one positive thing is that M. is no longer in pain. He's had a few rough years of endless surgeries and chemo and experimental treatments.

Still, it's completely fucking unfair. He was smart, funny and talented. He complemented his wife perfectly. They were a great couple. I was there when he awkwardly asked her out for the first time all those years ago, at a wine bar near the Bowery. They just seemed to fit. We lost a good one today...