I'm awake beacuse Linus keeps chasing his tail in the bed (which is actually the futon; the Big Girl Bed arrives Wednesday), which is quite the distraction. I shouldn't be awake, since last night turned into a drunken excursion around South Philly with Simon LeBon. First stop -- Bob and Barbara's. We sat next to the tittie match machine, but did not partake. We did, however, have two of the house specials: a shot of Jim Beam and a PBR. Simon then started telling me about this amazing dive bar on Washington, so we decide to head there.

As we negotiated our way further south, it was strangely quiet yet sort of buzzing with activity. Then I saw the trucks and knew that there was filming of some sort. "Hack," Simon said. "They've been following me around the city the past few days." And he was right, because standing there yukking it up with the crew was Andre Braugher. Simon didn't understand how huge this was, since he never watched Homicide. Freakin' Frank Pembleton! Anyway, we then saw Hack's hack, since it had the tell-tale "555-" phone number instead of a real one. Simon commended me on my observational skills. We then hit the Friendly Lounge, which is a totally sketchy dive bar. The bartender gave me a tiny glass with my lager, which just made me chuckle. It was such a "here ya go, broad" gesture. One drink and we moved on.

(Sorry to interrupt the recap, but I just have to comment on how fucking amazing VH1 Classic is this hour -- there was a "power ballad" block featuring "Don't Know What You Got 'Til It's Gone" by Cinderella, "I Remember You" by Skid Row and "The Flame" by Cheap Trick. After, it was a "modern rock" block -- R.E.M.'s "Talk About The Passion," The Smiths' "This Charming Man" and then TRANSVISION VAMP! Now Erasure is camping it up with their cover of "Take a Chance on Me." This, people, is why I have digital cable. We Are the 80s, indeed!)

After the Friendly Lounge (where the other bartender asked us if we were "working" on the Hack set), we headed to Low, which is a hipster dive bar. Schlitz was a dollar a can! So Simon and I drank. And played tittie match. And drank and drank. Afterward, we got a slice at Lorenzo's and then headed home. I staggered up the stairs and managed to get the contacts out in time to pass out. Now I'm awake again. Luckily, my aleve-and-water double attack seems to be staving off a hangover. Time to make some eggs and grind some coffee.