So, I'm flipping around TV and hit MTV2. I'm back from class, and the "Hurt" video came on. I lost it, much as I did the first time I saw it. I didn't know Johnny Cash, but he was the only artist that everyone in my family could agree upon -- grandparents, parents and me.

I'm heading up to Boston this weekend for a bridal shower, but also to see my grandmother for what I can only imagine will be one of, if not the, last times. While discussing my arrival with my mother, she let it slip that she and my grandfather are heading to the funeral home to make the pre-arrangements.

My paternal grandmother died when I was 17, but she wasn't as large a part of my life as this grandmother is. These grandparents have lived with me and raised me just as much as my parents have. Watching my Nan slip away because of Alzheimer's (a cruel joke, since we thought her 2-pack-a-day habit would do her in) is so fucking hard. She's a stubborn bitch who didn't give a shit what people thought. She took no crap, and to see her now barely understand her surroundings is one of the saddest things I've experienced.

People keep saying "Well, Johnny's death was something we knew was coming." Well, that's true, but it makes it no easier for the families. Johnny makes me upset not just because he was one of my musical heroes, but because he reminds me of my Nan and the short time she has left.

Emo rant over. Your next update will feature more bitching and moaning about pop culture and stupid people. After all, I'm my grandmother's granddaughter.